Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
