Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
