would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
