I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
