Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
