our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
