That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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