dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize