One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
