in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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