We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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