it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
