just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
