just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
