Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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