4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
