a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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