Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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