I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
