he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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