jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
