I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
