I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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