how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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