It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
