State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
