would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize