no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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