are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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