when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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