If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
