I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
