I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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