Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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