yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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