No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
