How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
