White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
