she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
