The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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