it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
