If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
