Tell her she can't have a vagina
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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