I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
