The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
