I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think i peed on brittanys purse
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize