My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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