dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
