Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize