i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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