just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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