It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
