bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
