we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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