is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize