you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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