I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
