he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
