I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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