Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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