What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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